Dear CNN, MSNBC, FOXNEWS, NRA and President Obama

Dear American News Media Stations, the President of the NRA, and President Obama, 

First let me say that I am not a religious person. I do not believe that God creates, forgives or heals the wrongs of this world. That is my belief. However, during this time of tragedy for 26 families in Newtown, Connecticut, I hope they find whatever peace and comfort they need, wherever they need to get it from at this time to help with their grieving and hopefully their healing process. I am angry. I am upset. I am bewildered and I am saddened. 

The first thing that causes me pause and anger is the news media in this country. While the rest of the world is not innocent in this matter, I focus now on the USA. Mr. Jeff Zucker, (president of CNN worldwide) how would you feel if someone shoved a microphone in the face of your wife Caryn to ask about what her "feelings" were at learning that one of your four children (I won't be so callous as to reveal their names) had been shot and killed by a gunman? How about you Ms. Anne Sweeney who made history by being the first woman news president. If one of your own reporters, Diane Sawyer, thrust a microphone in your face and wanted your candid reaction to the death of your child, would you run your newsroom the same way then? Or better yet, if it was your child (which is on the Autism spectrum) who was the perpetrator of this crime? Still run your newsroom the same way? It makes me sick to my stomach that these people dare call this news. Who are you informing and WHAT the fuck are you informing them of? That human beings have emotions at the loss of a child or a family member? Thanks for the update. I don't know if I can hold the media entirely responsible. I understand the need to comprehend and put a meaning to a tragedy, but WE the mainstream american people, we tune in to this shit. Why? The same reason we slow down and watch the car accident on the freeway, morbid curiosity. Until you experience a tragedy similar to this (which I ask the Universe you never do) you won't understand the need to grieve in private and with people who love and care about you. When the time is right, these families will share their tragedy and pain but it has to be THEIR choice. These are not lottery winners, these are VICTIMS or a horrible horrible crime. This is not a sensationalism opportunity to garner ratings for these ridiculously indifferent, unemotional, greedy news organizations. So much like Morgan Freeman, I ask, no I implore you to turn off the news. There is nothing you are going to learn by listening to the shit they are spewing on these channels that common sense won't already fill you in on. The gunman is dead, he was obviously mentally ill and he isn't on the prowl for another school. They may be another gunman on the prowl, but unfortunately, we won't know who he is or where and when he will strike until he does. 

Next on the list. The NRA. I am firm believer in every American's right to arm themselves. I truly believe that it is not for the government to make that choice for me. However, at the expense of millions of lives, the vast irresponsibility that is displayed by the NRA and its lobbying for guns rights is so far beyond a travesty, I can't even begin to describe it. The American people require protection yes, however who are we protecting ourselves from at this point? The government? The militia hiding in the hills? The terrorists? When was the last time the US government came into your house and you felt the need to pull out a gun? And militia and terrorists? If they are going to kill you, it will be with a bomb from far range, because they are cowards. Home security? Check the statistics of how many gun owners are killed by their own guns due to lack of education or training with firearms. You'd be amazed. My point is if you want to own a gun, good for you. If you are mentally ill, can't pass a personality test, can't pass a drug test then no gun for you. The DMV test to obtain your license in the state of California has 18 questions and you have to get 15 questions right to be able to operate a vehicle in the state of California, which arguably can be just as dangerous a weapon as a gun. To own a firearm in California? A 10 day waiting period, proof of residency, and proof that you are over 18 for a rifle or over 21 for a handgun. No test, they do a minimal precursory background check (which can possibly exclude people based on past criminal history). Do you see something wrong with that? Where is the psychology test? Where is the personality test? I had to take a personality test, a drug test, a background check and pass a basic math and english test to get my job. I'm not a police officer, a banker, a government official or a gun dealer. BUT, I am in charge of other corporate entities money. Maybe that is the base of our problems. Money. Wouldn't that be a surprise to all? 

President Obama. While there are many that are not fans of yours, I happen to be a generous chance giving person. I believe that you want to do the right thing for Americans and people in general, I do. I believe that you govern with the best intent of the people in the forefront of your mind. This being the case, why have you lessened the regulations in most states and federally regarding gun control? Why have you not, in conjunction with your push for Obamacare, not brought the issue of mental health in this country to the forefront? Why haven't you pushed these issues back onto the Congress so that their constituents can hold them responsible for their actions? Why are there not more government programs to assist and support families with mentally ill children? Where is the assistance on the front end instead of throwing these people into the penal system which does nothing to assist with treatment and cures for them? Where are the support groups and mental health facilities for families with mentally ill and violent adolescents? While I believe that it is not the job of the government to fully support their people with no assistance from the people requiring the support, I do however believe these people are unable to do this on their own. For an epidemic that continues to plague this country for the last 25 plus years, and affects every American in this country in one way or another, why is there no support, legislation or government assistance for these citizens? 

During this holiday season, I cannot even begin to imagine the pain these 26 families will be enduring without having the benefit of their loved ones with them. I cannot imagine the strength and resolve these families will need to have to send their next child, sister, brother, friend back to school eventually. I cannot begin to point a finger at one person without pointing a finger at us all. While I have absolutely no sympathy for the person that committed these heinous crimes, I do have sympathy for us, the American people, because I have to ask, how many times must this happen before we stop "sending our thoughts and prayers" to people and start taking action to make a CHANGE. CHANGE the channel on your TV and stop watching the insensitive news stations that continue to perpetuate the violent climate of our society. CHANGE the way you vote. Take note of your legislators and gauge their stance on gun control. Are they being supported by NRA lobbyists? Do they really have your best interests at heart? CHANGE the way you ask our President to see mental health and mental illness in this country. Demand that the government provide some assistance for families of these children so we can prevent these tragedies and not react to them once they transpire. CHANGE the way you see your family and your part in their lives. Hug your kids, hug your mom and dad, hug your relatives and thank whomever your God is that you and yours are alive to experience another holiday season. This blog is my voice to you and my little corner of the world. Expand upon my voice, share this blog, add your comments or write your own, but please DO SOMETHING.

Happy Holiday everyone. 

Merry F'n Christmas.....

There are so many things wrong with the holidays it would take two lifetimes to list them out in this blog, so I will give you the "ESPN Highlights" version of the good, the bad and the WTF about the holidays. The biggest problem I see with the "holidays" is that they are one big fucking commercial. If you love your kid enough you will buy them one million dollars worth of toys and electronics. If you love your significant other enough, you will buy them outrageously priced jewelry or better yet, a car. WTF? Really, nothing says Merry Fucking Christmas like a car? Because I am sure in the true spirit of Christmas, baby Jesus and all the fucking wise men, were totally thinking car as a gift. No, no they fucking weren't. You know what gifts they gave Frankincense and Myrrh. You know what that is? Fucking resin from a tree burned like incense. Yeah, that's what they gave. Don't you feel like the idiot that brought a gun to a sword fight? Sure, the other gift given to baby Jesus was gold, but hey, he was going to die for all of your sins, and really what have you done this year to deserve some gold?  A car...puhleez. And what about our already spoiled children? Do they need another gaming system? Another fucking doll to teach social prejudice and make them feel inadequate that they aren't blonde haired and blue eyed? People bitch and moan every year that we have lost what the "true spirit of Christmas is". Well, then stop fucking paying thousands of dollars for shit that you and your family don't need. My other favorite? The holiday picture card, short story or poem. First, the picture is always either your stupid vacation photo that was taken no where near Christmas time OR it's you and your kids posing around the Christmas tree for a family moment that NEVER happens. The short story or poem drives me fucking mad. No one gives a fuck that little Janie came in first place during the year for her first grade spelling bee. Now if she was arrested for a DUI and took some people out on the way to jail, leaked a sex tape and was engaged to a member of the Wu-Tang Clan, then that may be holiday newsworthy. And why does it have to rhyme? Believe me, none of your rhyming skills are that of an Eminem, leave it to the professionals. Another highlight of the holidays is how all of a sudden people pretend like they like each other. I just saw you two beating the shit out of each other in the parking lot and talking some trash on Facebook, but now you are BFF's? WTF? You were touched by the holiday spirit you say? Maybe your greedy ass was touched by wanting some nice shit for Christmas. I'm all for burying the hatchet, but two weeks before Christmas only to be fighting on New Year's day does not count. But my ALL time favorite has got to be the people that feel the need to be in or start a relationship for the holidays. You know THOSE people. The ones who don't want to show up anywhere without a date. Office party, family party, whatever...can't go solo. So what do they do? They get desperate and turn their fuck buddy or casual dating partner into the next "one" for the holidays. This person is now the shit. They are your long lost love, the future parent of your child. Sure they are. They are good for being the designated driver when your ass drinks too much spiked eggnog and giving you a last minute gift bought at Rite Aid (open on Christmas) of Mariah Carey's perfume and a Whitman's Sampler. Or God forbid you commit the ultimate holiday faux pas and hook up with an Ex. You know that Ex that is ALWAYS single (for a reason). The girl who is so desperate to be engaged or married that she went ahead and got her preacher's license online. Or the guy that has "never found anyone as special as you since we broke up". Because THAT always works out well. It does make for an interesting Christmas day dinner when the inevitable knock down drag out fight occurs at the family dinner table for all to find out that you enjoy kinky sex shit. Never a dull moment.... 
But my all time favorite holiday scam has GOT to be Santa Claus. Who the fuck came up with this fat asshole. I mean think about this. You as the parents work 40 plus hours per week all year to put food on the table for your rugrats and then probably work OT during the holidays to pay for all of those annoying fucking toys and who gets credit for it? Some fat jolly dude in a horrible crushed red velvet suit who plays with midgets and farm animals. WTF? Do you tell your kids Santa Claus is paying for their college tuition? Because that's when the fuck I could use some assistance. Why do we continue this ridiculous tradition? Is it so bad for your kids to find out that YOU actually love and care enough about them to get them what they want for Christmas? And it isn't like it used to be in the old days where you used Santa Claus as the disciplinarian. Kids don't buy that shit anymore. I mean it is probably more plausible that Santa "sees you when you're sleeping" (which is a WHOLE other blog and so creepy that I can't go into it) and "knows when you're awake" in the advent of webcams and facetime and all, but come on... one quick email to Santa and shit is hooked up. I'm just pointing out the obvious here, you are setting your kids up for a lifetime of disappointment with them pinning their hopes on some old white guy to come through in a pinch... (I could use examples here, but I think you get the point... Mitt Romney). I say we change the tides and tell the truth for a change! Tell them that the factory in the North Pole was closed for computer upgrades, the elves went on a labor strike, the reindeer got mad cow disease and the shipping company went belly up and THAT's why Santa couldn't bring the little guy his new Wii U and why Mommy got a new Mercedes for Christmas! 
Merry Fucking Christmas to you all!!! 

The Answers

Common and Mos Def have a song called "The Questions", one of my favorites. Consider this my take on "The Questions" but the opposite. Get it? People often ask me, "Jennifer (because that's my name) what do you think is the answer to this question?". Not really, but I've always wanted to start a sentence that says "People often ask me". So thank you for allowing me to fulfill a fantasy for a brief moment. So, I often post my random thoughts on FB and well, much like those thoughts, these are questions that have either come up in conversation quite often, people have ACTUALLY asked me these questions quite often or I have overheard them (while being nosy) in other people's conversations. ;0)
Why do you think reality TV is so popular? Reality TV is popular for a few reasons. People love to see other people do and say stupid shit on TV. I don't know why this phenomenon exists, but it does. People also love to see that there are people more fucked up than they are. I guess watching ignorant, classless people get drunk and have one night stands with strangers makes some people feel better about their life choices. Who knew? The real irony here is that there really is no such thing as "reality TV". Everything is staged and scripted and rarely are there any true spontaneous moments. Sad, but true.
Why does so and so still have a career, or keep getting acting parts etc? I will tell you why. Because they are sleeping with someone really important. Or because stupid people keep supporting them by watching their movies, listening to their music or "liking" their FB page.
Why are LA Lakers fans, Boston Red Sox fans, Raiders fans and Philly fans in general so obnoxious? Good question, great answer. It's simple.They are made up of a legion of passive/aggressive haters who won't admit it. While I admit that the Lakers fans can at least celebrate some success, the balance of these teams have woefully wallowed in despair for a very long time. You can't really blame them for wanting to take things out on others. The LA fans really have no other excuse other than the fact that there really is nothing else to get excited about in LA. Next......
Why are men and women so different? Because women have vaginas and men have penises. DUH!!
And because men go through life viewing it as though leafing through a porn magazine, while women go through life trying to LOOK LIKE the women IN the porn magazine, secretly of course.
Why do people push the elevator button that is already lit? Uh, because the elevator fairies pay attention more if you ring more than once. And because most people are ridiculously stupid and impatient.
Why do people turn down the volume of their radio when looking for an address? Because everyone knows that when you lose one of your senses, the other ones become more heightened.
Why do people take so many pictures of themselves to post on Instagram? Say it with me....Because if I don't, who will?
Who writes those Ecards? I wonder this as well. At first I thought Louis Black, but then.....I think it's a collaborative effort. More research required.
Who did you vote for in the election? Duh, Jesse "the body" Ventura. He believes the government is slowly putting fluoride in our water which is THE main component in Prozac.(Just so nobody sues me for inaccuracy, this is completely incorrect) Add some bath salts to that water and Walking Dead here we come!
If I enjoy beating women, acting like an asshole, singing and dancing and getting lots of tattoos, do you think there is a career that is right for me? Why certainly! You can be a) an R&B superstar b) a professional football player, c) a professional basketball player, d) a Rap superstar or e) a member of the US government! If you elect to pursue the latter, probably better to hide your tattoos though.
Why are people so fascinated with Psy and his Gangnam Style? Because the Macarena has left the building.
Why is it so hard to win the Lottery? Um, because if you don't play you can't win. Sheesh.....
Why will Mitt Romney do now that he didn't win his bid for the Presidency? Duh, he is going to find another wife to put in the book. Sheesh...

Stay tuned for the next installment of The Answers....coming soon! And please, feel free to submit and burning questions you may have that I can answer for you!

I'm sorry.....

It takes a big person to admit they are wrong and a bigger person (damn those Krispy Kremes) to announce it to the world. But, I am a big enough person (in heart not size) to do BOTH. Contrary to popular belief, I am not perfect. Not that I ever claimed that I was, but you know how it is, you write a few spectacular blogs and right away people assume. ;0) I make mistakes, sometimes big ones, HUGE ones. In the past it's been extremely difficult to admit to when I had erred. And say "I'm sorry"?...Uh, never. I always felt like if someone got hurt by something I said or did, as long as hurting wasn't my intention, why should I apologize? And then it happened...you know, IT. Or more to the point, HIM. Sure when it came to my kids, if I made a mistake I was quick to tell them how sorry I was, they're my kids. But HIM was a different story. To actually love someone so much that I felt bad when he did....unthinkable. Corny, I know, but a true story none the less. If there is anyone that deserves and has certainly earned the right to hear the words "I'm sorry" from me, it is certainly HIM. In the years that have been our life together so far, I have fucked up, and fucked up big. I am an extremist, what can I say. It's go big or go home. But seriously, that saying, you only hurt the ones you love... couldn't be more true.Why is that? In my well meaning, sharing me feelings, being the new and improved me, I have fucked up royally along the way. Not to make this a total Martyrdom blog, he's done his fair share of fucking up as well, but he manages to make his amends in his own special way. Me, sometimes yes and sometimes no. I am stubborn (shocking, but true). I have a hard time seeing things in any other colors than black and white. Or a more accurate description would be MY way or the wrong way. It's a character flaw, but what are you going to do? No body's perfect. So this is my way of making amends. A public apology if you will. HE doesn't really care for PDA's. HE's more of a private, actions speak louder than words kind of HIM. Probably one of the things I love most about him and something that drives me crazy (not in the good way) about him as well. Now that I have finally found someone worth loving, I like to share it with everyone. HIM, not so much... Men are from Mars Women are from Venus.... Anyhow, I am sure this list could be much longer but it's a start. HE probably won't even read it, but at least I know it's here. So bare with me and endure some mushy love stuff for five minutes and Thank you for letting me share! 

I am sorry for not understanding that everyone has things that are just for them. It's a foreign concept to me, but I am learning. 

I am sorry for complaining about not having any pictures of us together. It's a sore point still, but I am working on it.

I am sorry for not always putting in my full effort when it comes to things (and people) that are important to you. Work in progress...

I am sorry for not always forgetting the past and then reminding you about it, repeatedly. :0( 

I am sorry for not always being the one person that should be there for you and instead letting my feelings over petty things get in the way. 

I am sorry that I cannot stand some of things that you like. (i.e., Lakers, etc.)

I am sorry for not understanding fully the concept that men are completely different in some aspects than women. I don't know if I am ever going to necessarily get over this one, but I am sorry that I'm not....

I am sorry for not remembering that everyone has a past....including me. 

I am sorry that despite my best efforts, there are just things I am not EVER going to understand or be okay with with. But I promise to not over analyze them and pick on you for them. 

I am sorry that you are so stubborn.... ;0)

I am sorry that I don't like Halloween as much as you do. 

I am sorry that I sometimes ADD to the drama instead of helping to lessen it. (I admit it...)

I am sorry for sometimes letting work stress spill over onto you. 

But the thing I am most truly sorry for, the thing that I wish I never had to apologize for because it never happened....I am sorry for one second of pain I have ever caused you. One second of hurt or anger or doubt because of my words or actions. For that,  I am sorry from the bottom of my heart. 

I love you, HIM. <3

Michael Jordan is the greatest...Period

I know, I know, many debates rage over the topic of "Who is the greatest basketball player of all time"? And I am going to tell you why it's Michael Jordan. You don't have to agree, but I'm right. Okay, rings aside, MVP's aside, and stats aside (What...no stats you say...WTF?) Michael Jordan is the greatest of all time, period. The easiest answer to the argument is that no matter who you are talking about, Kobe, Lebron, etc. they all ALWAYS get compared to who? That's right, Michael Jordan. You don't have to like him as a person, but you have to respect him as a player. If you're a fan of the game, and yes, I will even allow that there are Lakers fans who are actual fans of the game and can take of their We Love Kobe glasses for 5 minutes, the one thing that escapes people who make arguments to the contrary is that Michael Jordan changed the way the game is played. Kobe and Lebron emulate HIM. Maybe they can do it better and faster now, but it's because of Michael that they play the way they do. Sure, there are a lot of old school players who you can say changed the game as well, Wilt Chamberlain, Bill Russell, heck I'll even give some props to Magic Johnson. But, you cannot point to another single player who has influenced so many that came after him. From the fade-aways, to the tongue hanging out, everybody wanted to be "like Mike". For me personally, what makes Michael Jordan the greatest, is that he elevated the game of everyone around him. Who would have ever heard of Scottie Pippen, John Paxson, or  Bill Cartwright if it wasn't for Michael Jordan? He may have been an asshole about it, but he demanded the best from every one of his teammates because he demanded the same of himself. Why do all of the new players that come into the league want to wear #23? Why does Kobe want to win 6 championships? The answer is always the same. To equal, resemble or attempt to surpass the greatness of Michael Jordan. He is the bar setter. I am not lessening the accomplishments or skills of any of the talented players that have come after him. I am certainly not saying that there won't be players that may surpass his skill level, number of all star appearances, number of championship rings, or even number of MVP's. What I am saying is that there will never be another Michael Jordan. Period.The man took the NBA and the game of basketball to a level that has yet to be equaled. The game changed because of his talent. There are always going to be the Kobe lovers who will stand and tell you that Kobe is better. Does it better, faster and has almost as many championships. I am not saying that Kobe is not a good player, maybe even better at this age than Michael was, but he's not the greatest. Lebron? Sure, he's a good player, again, maybe even better than Michael at his age, but he has a long way to go to even be mentioned in the same breath. And it's not because he hasn't won as many championships or even because he hasn't been around as long, it's because he doesn't have it. What is it? It is the thing that makes Michael the greatest. The ability to make others want to play better, the ability to lift the game to a whole other level, the ability to do what needs to be done in order to win. It doesn't make him a better or even nicer person, it just makes him the greatest player ever. You can argue from here until the next conversation on ESPN erupts about the topic, but it won't matter, Michael Jordan is the greatest. The mere fact that every "hater" of Michael Jordan still compares their favorite player to him is proof enough that he's the greatest. I don't hear anyone comparing people in the league to Kobe or Lebron or anyone else. Maybe their time will come, but even then, they won't be the greatest of all time. And it's time to admit that if you don't now, you have in past owned a number 23 jersey, worn a pair of air Jordan's or cheered for the Tarheels or Bulls. Admit it, deep down, you know he's the greatest. So, instead of hating on or comparing to Michael, Kobe and the like should do what is owed, what is required, just say "Thank You" and move on.
Besides who else could hold their own co-starring with Bugs and Daffy?

What's my status?

As I begin to write this particular blog, I know that I am going to be judged. People are going to project their personal feelings onto my status blog. Well you know what? Whatever, I don't care. Judge away Judgie McJudgersons! 

So, what IS my status? What does this status even refer to? I am talking about my Facebook status? Here are the choices for Facebook statuses. I have taken the liberty of demystifying them so that you all know what the statuses actually mean. 
Single: Self explanatory. With the asterisk being that there are some crazy ass people that are actually in a relationship that change this status at the end of every fight with their significant other. And also cheating men. 
In a Relationship: This status can be misleading. It could be one date and the stalker to be is already committed you to a life time of restraining orders. This could also mean you want to seem more attractive to certain crazies and therefore it is a smoke screen. Or it could mean that you are actually in a relationship with a real live human being. 
Engaged: Another misleading status. I think the misconception here is that you ACTUALLY have to be asked by someone to marry them. It's not a wishful thinking kind of a status. Asterisk-it does not qualify as a synonym for busy. 
Married: Legally entangled with a real live human being. Asterisk-you will note that FB does not allow for part time married, married for legal reasons, not sure if the baby is mine married or married for tax reasons. 
It's Complicated: (My personal favorite) This is code for I am not certain how the other person I obsess over feels about me.  It can also be code for, I have multiple love interests and don't want to piss any of them off.  Another potential code is I am currently stalking a celebrity and not sure if they even know I exist, yet. And last, but certainly not least, I am awaiting termination of the temporary restraining order against me and will update my status to "In a Relationship" as soon as it is. 
In an Open Relationship: This one, I have to admit, confuses me. I mean it's so honest and up front, it doesn't seem to belong in the FB universe. This one, I have to say, if you have the proverbial testicular fortitude to display, it probably literally and accurately reflects your status. 
Widowed: This is used for the obvious status of "I got dumped and wish the other person was dead". Or it could really mean your significant other has passed. 
Separated: Ah, another favorite. My significant other and I just broke up five minutes ago and I am not sure if we are going to get back together or not and I still want to have a booty call so I'm not changing my status to Single just yet. 
Divorced: Female definition: I am an over 40 year old cougar and think that this status will turn on men under 30 because it means I'm experienced. Male Definition: I am over 40 and recently divorced and want to attract a 20 year old who thinks because I can afford a divorce I must have money to spend on her. 
In a Civil Union: I honestly have no idea why you would put this as your status other than you live in a state that discriminates against your sexual orientation and I think you should take a stand and say FUCK YOU and put that you're married. That's just my opinion though.... 
In a Domestic Partnership:  Don't lie, you automatically assume gay here. BUT...there are many definitions (and I'm not just saying that because it happens to be MY personal status). Co-habitation of two people could be reflected in this particular status. Again, you live in a state that discriminates against your sexual orientation. Asterisk-You don't want your internet boyfriend/girlfriend to know you are actually married, so you put this status instead. And a remote possibility, the IRS is searching your "social media profile" and you don't want to tip your hand about your exemptions. (Oh yeah, it's true)

Now in the "real world" and not FBland as I like to call it, these statuses are useless. They are about as useful at telling you what the actual situation is as having Red Sox tickets in October is. So in the real world when someone asks you what your status is, what should you say? What does it refer to? 

I find it odd that in today's day and age, it really is one of the first questions people ask you, male or female, when they meet you. Like this so called "status" defines who you are. Does it? Was the single (truly single, not FB single) you different than the married you? Do you answer questions differently now that you are divorced than when you were married? I guess it depends on the questions. 
For me personally,  I have a significant other, and I call him a significant other because I feel like I am too old to have a boyfriend. I don't know why I feel that way, but I do. This is just a personal thing really. But that really doesn't tell you who am I as a person. I mean, yes, you know that I am committed to someone, but not where I live, what I do for a living or how I vote. It would seem to me the question is a set up for judgement. Because I am a certain age and am in a domestic partnership and not married, people will assume that means something. When really, it means that I am a certain age and in a domestic partnership. I guess the point here is that why should we continue to place one more label for people to make incorrect assumptions and judgments about who we really are? Don't get me wrong, I get the comfort and security of having a label to describe the domestic bliss that you may be a part of. But does it need to be out front of everything else that defines who you are? Weren't you a solitary, independent you before you were part of a "coupling"? I mean why is there pity or disappointment in someone's eyes when they proclaim that they are single or unattached?  Having been in some kind of a relationship for the majority of my life, I can understand the constraints of constantly being associated with another person, good or bad. For some reason people assume that once you are a couple your brain functions in rhythm with your partner. You MUST be interested in the same things. Got news for you, being different is probably what attracted me to this person to begin with. Why would I want to adopt their views just for the sake of our couple status? 
At the end of the day, people are still going to judge you by your status. They are going to make assumptions about what your status says about you. But you know what? Fuck 'em. Let them assume all they want. You keep them guessing and make up your own status. (Which is another thing that pisses me off about FB. Why no free form status available?) From now on my status is going to be Mind Your Own Fucking Business. Or on a good day, Fuck You, Have a Nice Day!  

If I wanted your opinion, I'd ask.....

Is it just Americans that feel the need to comment or have an opinion on everything or is it human nature? Seriously, why the fuck do people feel compelled to tell you what they think or how they feel....UNSOLICITED. You are wondering right now how I, creator of such thoughtful, wise and meaningful opinions, can have the audacity to criticize. And I will tell you. My opinions, while in theory may be unsolicited, are a choice because people CHOOSE to read my blog. I don't force it upon them. Unsolicited opinions that fly out of peoples mouths everyday, ah, those are different stories. Let me provide you with some examples. I color my hair. Pretty much everyone that reads this blog knows that I color my hair red. At different times it has been different shades of red. My hair is naturally curly. I can straighten it with the assistance of modern technology. I wear it curly, I wear it straight, my choice. Why the fuck would people feel the need to come and tell which hair color and/or style they think looks better? Do I give a fuck? Are you my fucking stylist? If I gave a shit about what you thought, you'd know by now. Or have you ever been in a clothing store and a complete stranger comes up and tells you that they don't like the way something looks on you? Or vice versa, that they think it looks good? Or how about the dumb fucker that approaches you to advise what is a wise shopping choice and what is not? It takes all my energy not to punch these people in the fucking face. Didn't their Mom teach them that they shouldn't speak unless spoken to? WTF? People give opinions on how to raise your child, what kind of food to eat, what type of car to drive, what school to go to. When the fuck did being a part of the human race entitle you to infringe upon my personal space? Your rights end where mine BEGIN fucker. This epidemic needs to be stopped I tell you. My proposal? Cattle prods. From now on when someone provides an unsolicited opinion, you get to shock them with a cattle prod.Although this may seem cruel and unusual, AT FIRST, but it really is the best solution. Plus, you would get to carry a cattle prod...added bonus. 
But seriously, a compliment is one thing, but these unsolicited opinions have got to stop. And just because some people couple them with "friendly" advice, does NOT make them any less unsolicited. When my kids were little people would come over all of the time and tell me why my kid was doing what they were doing. Oh, he's crying because he's hungry, you can tell. She's drooling because she's teething. Thank you Captain Fucking Obvious. Now mind your own fucking business and while you're at it stop eating McDonald's and jump on a treadmill every once in a while. Now see if I had said that, I would have been the asshole. But what's the difference? I want to believe at the end of the day stupid people such as these truly believe that they are adding value in some way. However, when you look at it from the perspective of, how fucking arrogant are you to think that I want or need to hear what the fuck comes out of your mouth every second of the day, they really aren't. 
I would get T-Shirts made up that say "Before you open mouth ask yourself if anyone gives a fuck" but I am too lazy. 

So, if you are guilty of these unsolicited opinions, you better stop because I have my cattle prod charged and ready.