Thursday, September 6, 2012

If I wanted your opinion, I'd ask.....

Is it just Americans that feel the need to comment or have an opinion on everything or is it human nature? Seriously, why the fuck do people feel compelled to tell you what they think or how they feel....UNSOLICITED. You are wondering right now how I, creator of such thoughtful, wise and meaningful opinions, can have the audacity to criticize. And I will tell you. My opinions, while in theory may be unsolicited, are a choice because people CHOOSE to read my blog. I don't force it upon them. Unsolicited opinions that fly out of peoples mouths everyday, ah, those are different stories. Let me provide you with some examples. I color my hair. Pretty much everyone that reads this blog knows that I color my hair red. At different times it has been different shades of red. My hair is naturally curly. I can straighten it with the assistance of modern technology. I wear it curly, I wear it straight, my choice. Why the fuck would people feel the need to come and tell which hair color and/or style they think looks better? Do I give a fuck? Are you my fucking stylist? If I gave a shit about what you thought, you'd know by now. Or have you ever been in a clothing store and a complete stranger comes up and tells you that they don't like the way something looks on you? Or vice versa, that they think it looks good? Or how about the dumb fucker that approaches you to advise what is a wise shopping choice and what is not? It takes all my energy not to punch these people in the fucking face. Didn't their Mom teach them that they shouldn't speak unless spoken to? WTF? People give opinions on how to raise your child, what kind of food to eat, what type of car to drive, what school to go to. When the fuck did being a part of the human race entitle you to infringe upon my personal space? Your rights end where mine BEGIN fucker. This epidemic needs to be stopped I tell you. My proposal? Cattle prods. From now on when someone provides an unsolicited opinion, you get to shock them with a cattle prod.Although this may seem cruel and unusual, AT FIRST, but it really is the best solution. Plus, you would get to carry a cattle prod...added bonus. 
But seriously, a compliment is one thing, but these unsolicited opinions have got to stop. And just because some people couple them with "friendly" advice, does NOT make them any less unsolicited. When my kids were little people would come over all of the time and tell me why my kid was doing what they were doing. Oh, he's crying because he's hungry, you can tell. She's drooling because she's teething. Thank you Captain Fucking Obvious. Now mind your own fucking business and while you're at it stop eating McDonald's and jump on a treadmill every once in a while. Now see if I had said that, I would have been the asshole. But what's the difference? I want to believe at the end of the day stupid people such as these truly believe that they are adding value in some way. However, when you look at it from the perspective of, how fucking arrogant are you to think that I want or need to hear what the fuck comes out of your mouth every second of the day, they really aren't. 
I would get T-Shirts made up that say "Before you open mouth ask yourself if anyone gives a fuck" but I am too lazy. 

So, if you are guilty of these unsolicited opinions, you better stop because I have my cattle prod charged and ready. 

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