The Answers

Common and Mos Def have a song called "The Questions", one of my favorites. Consider this my take on "The Questions" but the opposite. Get it? People often ask me, "Jennifer (because that's my name) what do you think is the answer to this question?". Not really, but I've always wanted to start a sentence that says "People often ask me". So thank you for allowing me to fulfill a fantasy for a brief moment. So, I often post my random thoughts on FB and well, much like those thoughts, these are questions that have either come up in conversation quite often, people have ACTUALLY asked me these questions quite often or I have overheard them (while being nosy) in other people's conversations. ;0)
Why do you think reality TV is so popular? Reality TV is popular for a few reasons. People love to see other people do and say stupid shit on TV. I don't know why this phenomenon exists, but it does. People also love to see that there are people more fucked up than they are. I guess watching ignorant, classless people get drunk and have one night stands with strangers makes some people feel better about their life choices. Who knew? The real irony here is that there really is no such thing as "reality TV". Everything is staged and scripted and rarely are there any true spontaneous moments. Sad, but true.
Why does so and so still have a career, or keep getting acting parts etc? I will tell you why. Because they are sleeping with someone really important. Or because stupid people keep supporting them by watching their movies, listening to their music or "liking" their FB page.
Why are LA Lakers fans, Boston Red Sox fans, Raiders fans and Philly fans in general so obnoxious? Good question, great answer. It's simple.They are made up of a legion of passive/aggressive haters who won't admit it. While I admit that the Lakers fans can at least celebrate some success, the balance of these teams have woefully wallowed in despair for a very long time. You can't really blame them for wanting to take things out on others. The LA fans really have no other excuse other than the fact that there really is nothing else to get excited about in LA. Next......
Why are men and women so different? Because women have vaginas and men have penises. DUH!!
And because men go through life viewing it as though leafing through a porn magazine, while women go through life trying to LOOK LIKE the women IN the porn magazine, secretly of course.
Why do people push the elevator button that is already lit? Uh, because the elevator fairies pay attention more if you ring more than once. And because most people are ridiculously stupid and impatient.
Why do people turn down the volume of their radio when looking for an address? Because everyone knows that when you lose one of your senses, the other ones become more heightened.
Why do people take so many pictures of themselves to post on Instagram? Say it with me....Because if I don't, who will?
Who writes those Ecards? I wonder this as well. At first I thought Louis Black, but then.....I think it's a collaborative effort. More research required.
Who did you vote for in the election? Duh, Jesse "the body" Ventura. He believes the government is slowly putting fluoride in our water which is THE main component in Prozac.(Just so nobody sues me for inaccuracy, this is completely incorrect) Add some bath salts to that water and Walking Dead here we come!
If I enjoy beating women, acting like an asshole, singing and dancing and getting lots of tattoos, do you think there is a career that is right for me? Why certainly! You can be a) an R&B superstar b) a professional football player, c) a professional basketball player, d) a Rap superstar or e) a member of the US government! If you elect to pursue the latter, probably better to hide your tattoos though.
Why are people so fascinated with Psy and his Gangnam Style? Because the Macarena has left the building.
Why is it so hard to win the Lottery? Um, because if you don't play you can't win. Sheesh.....
Why will Mitt Romney do now that he didn't win his bid for the Presidency? Duh, he is going to find another wife to put in the book. Sheesh...

Stay tuned for the next installment of The Answers....coming soon! And please, feel free to submit and burning questions you may have that I can answer for you!