Women are crazy.....Men are "special"

If you are a woman and you don't think that there has been at least 25% of your life dedicated to being crazy, you are deranged, and please stop reading my blog. If you are a man, and you believe that by calling you "special" I was referring to a term of endearment, well then you have just proved my point. I have never been a fan of the whole men are from mars, women are from venus theory, but I do believe there are distinct differences that make women crazy and men special. You will notice I removed the quotations from special now, it's not of any note, I just got tired of hitting the shift button. So, you may be saying to yourself, I am a woman, and I don't think I'm crazy. Let me tell you why you are. If you have ever had the following thought process in your mind and thought it was perfectly rational, you are crazy. Scenario #1:Your significant other male couterpart has just committed an aggregious offense against you (probably something as serious as not noticing your new hairstyle) and in YOUR mind, you believe that the best remedy for this is to not say anything. You just stew in silence. You secretly hope that he will figure it out and apologize for being an insensitive oaf and profess his undying love for you and your goddess like beauty. And the conversation goes like this-  Him: What's wrong with you? You: Nothing. Yep, you are crazy. Scenario #2: He comes home from work and you ask how his day went. He says "Fine". In your mind you try and decipher what fine means. Does it mean he is miserable and didn't want to come home to me? Does it mean he is having an affair with someone at the office? In reality he meant his day was FINE. Men, stop nodding in agreement and realize that you truly are special. I say this not dripping with admiration, but with sarcasm. Don't think you fall into the special man category? You do. Here's why. Because at one time in your life you found a shirt or pair of pants you liked and you bought five of them, in five different colors. For every day of the week, right? Special. You have broken up with a woman via text message or by changing your status on Facebook. Special. You truly believe that there is a possibility that there are real superheroes, aliens (with light sabres) and vampires. Special. You believe that by wearing that one jersey and drinking only half of your drink with exactly 10 seconds remaining will somehow will your team into winning a game. Special. For women things are complicated. For men things are simple. For women a conference call or mass text message is required when to decide whether or not she likes a man. For men, she breathes, she's good enough! I envy men, I do. I wish I could answer almost every question with a grunt or a nod. I wish that when I saw my female friends a chest bump or weird handshake from junior high would suffice as a greeting in lieu of a kiss and a recounting of my entire relationship thus far. Men like porn-special. Women like picking apart and judging any woman who is more attractive than they are-crazy. Women will hold a grudge against another woman for something that happened in high school-crazy. Men can't remember their anniversary date-special. A woman will Facebook stalk an ex for months-crazy. A man will forget to "unfriend" his Ex and add his new girlfriend while still having posted pictures of the stalker ex-special.
I admit I fall somewhere in the middle- half crazy, half special, really depends on the day.  I am amazed that relationships last longer than a week in our society. I can empathize with both sides of this issue. Women, I understand the reason for the craziness, the specialness of the men drives you to it. And men, the ability to continue with the specialness and somehow handle the craziness is really a gift. At the end of the day, true love prevails when both sides learn to accept each other for what they truly are, a crazy woman and a special man. Chris Rock said it best, "You got to love the crust of a motherfucker. You can't just love the white part of the bread." What a special man he is!