It's a rare cold day for me here in Southern California, so I had some "down" time. I generally thoroughly relish the role of smart ass, sarcastic, in your face author, but these days, I'm just kind of tired. I don't have any health issues (although like probably every woman in existence, I could stand to lose a few pounds and gain some more energy) and I'm not depressed, I'm just tired, and you know what? For the first time in a long time, it's okay. I abhor reading these FB posts about blogs about how EVERYONE is just out their mind busy all the time. Are you really though? Are you really that busy or are you not comfortable enough with you to be able to do nothing and be tired. Sure, you have kids, you have a job, you want a life, I get it, been there done that, ahem, doing that. But at the end of the day why aren't some things just okay? Like being tired. Let me tell you, fuck getting old, no really, fuck that. I don't want to be old, I don't want to look old, I don't want to feel old, but guess what? I'm getting old, and it's okay. I can't stop it. I can't turn back the proverbial hands of time, and if I'm being honest, I don't want to. Being this old brought me to where I am now, albeit tired me, me. I'm good with getting old and being tired, I'm not good with feeling guilty about it or having to apologize for it. FUCK THAT.
You know what else is okay. Not wanting to have kids. The urge does not strike every man and woman on Earth. I hate (and I used to be guilty of it as well) hearing people, well women being told by another woman (because let's be real, nobody says this shit to a man) that she doesn't want kids only to hear the same fucking retort every time "You'll change your mind". No bitch, she won't and that's okay. Having kids is a FUCK ton of work. It puts a strain on you physically, mentally and financially and if you're smart enough to have figured that shit out BEFORE you had a kid, good for you.
There are two sides to every coin right? Right. I myself am a side and for example my husband is the other side of that coin. He's my husband and I love him dearly but we don't fucking agree on every damn thing. And that is so much more than okay. How boring would we be if we agreed on everything? Ugh! A good fight every once in a while keeps the romance alive. And for all the people that say different, fuck you. You're going to get divorced or your spouse is cheating on you right now. Okay, that shit was harsh, but you know what I mean. Not being in step on every fucking thing is most definitely okay. In fact, it's a necessity.
Last year was fucking insane. FUCKING INSANE. And we're only a month into this year and already, double fucking insane. It's okay to have your political opinions, your sociological opinions, your sports opinions and all of that, really it is. But fuck, ya'll cannot seem to respect that about each other. I don't agree with like 90% of what 90% of what my friends and family say, but I still love them. I would still take a bullet, throw a punch, drive to a Tijuana jail (that must be an LA thing, because I never hear MF'ers in NY talk about bailing someone out of TJ jail...LOL) and all of that nonsense. :I don't want to get on a high horse (what in the AF is a "high" horse) or tell you what you should be doing, but fuck, someone needs to. Believe in your mental healer, believe that the Dodgers are one day going to win the world series in your lifetime, believe that Trump is a good president (that was painful), all of that, but remember that not everyone agrees with you and THAT SHIT IS OKAY.
Love and prayers to all that lost in 2019 and those who are suffering already in 2020.
Make this your year in whatever way brings you joy my family and friends!
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