I need to lose the baby weight......

So what if my baby is 18 YEARS OLD. And what? The weight that I've gained over the past 18 years is most definitely related to that baby, believe me. I love it when I hear women say that. They need to lose the baby weight. Do you think they really believe that? I mean how many people were actually in shape, at their ideal weight when they got pregnant? I mean for some of you, that may actually be the reason you got pregnant in the first place, but doubtful. Anyhow, why is there so much pressure on women to attain this ideal weight? WTF is the ideal weight anyway? I mean doesn't it depend on your body type, your height, and various other factors? So who the fuck is any of these fashion or so-called fitness magazines to tell me how much I should weigh? Fuck them. Sometimes I feel like being a little heavier and sometimes my vanity gets the best of me and I work out like a mad woman. It's none of anyone's fucking business except mine and my clothes that have to hold on for dear life when I'm in a mood and won't buy a bigger size. That's right, fuck you, I don't like to buy bigger sized clothes. Look, I am no Gloria Steinam or anything, but fuck why are women so harsh and critical of other women, especially when it comes to weight? How many people look at the baby daddy and say, "dude, you've put on some baby weight?" No, they proudly display a beer gut. Like beer is more important than carrying their child. Fuck that. Here's an observation that I've made. Male comedians become a lot LESS funny after they've had kids. How about that? How come nobody is writing articles about that or trying to come with a "plan" to make them funnier? Chris Rock, Jay Mohr, Adam Sandler and a few others. Fuck them, until they lose the "unfunny baby shit" I'm not watching any of their shit. I can't even stand that Kardashian whore, but fuck, people were all over her shit about being fat like two weeks after she had that baby. Fuck you. You have a baby and get back into your same clothes. And those stupid women on Instagram who are posting pics of their "post baby" body that looks the same as before, fuck them too. Take care of your fucking baby and stop being so god damn vain. I mean don't get me wrong, obesity is an epidemic in this country, that is true, however after having a child, no matter how old your child is, your life changes. Your diet changes, your lifestyle changes and sure as fuck your body changes. Big fucking deal. You think your Mom wanted to have her boobs sag down to her knee caps by the time she was 50 just to feed and nourish you for the first part of your life? FUUCCKK NO she didn't. But she did. And fuck you for telling her to lose the baby weight. Are you happy? Are you wearing the clothes you want to? Are you healthy? Then fuck those mother fuckers who think you need to lose the baby weight. Women were not meant to look like 12 year old little boys and if your man thinks so, there's this hot new trend he should try, it's called HOMOSEXUALITY. Call up Bruce Jenner and he'll explain that shit to you. (Yeah, I said it, so what?) Look, at the end of the day, you need to be happy with you and you need to make sure you live a long time to take care of that little bank account draining, snot dripping, poop machine of a baby you gained all of that weight for to begin with. Wear your stretch marks or C-section scars like badges of honor bitches!!! So the next time you see a postpartum woman (that means someone who just had a baby, by the way) tell her how amazing her hair looks, how she is absolutely glowing or how great of a job she's doing with her baby. But keep your fucking mouth shut about her "baby weight" unless you want a foot shoved up your ass! Support your fellow females Moms and non-Moms!!! (Unless she is a bitch, then.....J/K...maybe) And if you had a baby in the last 40 years, don't worry about it you don't need lose the baby weight, the baby will keep coming back and asking to take more and more of your ass anyway!