So my sister-in-law sent me a message the other day asking me to comment on what I thought about Kanye and Kim's kid being named North. While at the time I hadn't even heard what those two fucktards (who should NEVER have been allowed to pro-create) named their child (soon to be fucktard) it got me thinking back to my favorite topic....bitching about things I don't like. So, thank you sister-in-law for brightening my day with all the possibilities. Without further ado....round 2.
I will just get it out there up front. Putting a pin in the whole celebrity baby naming thing (or as I like to call them Fucktards who think they matter in the world), let me just say this about Kanye and Kim. First, he is an asshole. He used to at least be a talented asshole, but now... not so much with the talent. I don't know if his mother's death affected him that much, but everyone has drama, move on. And her, I can't even begin. But when you fuck an entire nation of "famous" people, publish your sexcapades for all to view it tells me that 1) you're extremely insecure 2) you're fucking an idiot and 3) you are a wanna be pornstar. So, Kanye and Kim NOT anywhere near a few of my favorite things.
Baby names. Aside from famous people there are some regular people who just take naming their child to a whole new level of fucktardedness. Remember that your child has to go through life with this name. Remember that every teacher from Kindergarten through college is going to call this name out in front of a crowd of its peers. Naming your child a fruit, a random thought or a direction, are never good choices. These are choices made by self indulgent fucktards who want everyone to pay more attention to them because they can't get enough so they use their child to gain even more attention. Yes, I'm talking about you, Gwyneth Paltrow (Apple), Demi Moore (Rumer, Scout, Tallulah Belle) and fucktard Kim (North). You are pathetic and should be banned from pro-creation. I am not saying the Dad's get a pass either, but let's face it, much like wedding plans, naming of the kids generally run by the chick. So for all of you Seven's (if you watched Seinfeld, you will get that AWESOME reference) and Skylabs, I apologize for your parents attention whoredness.... NEXT.
Why the fuck do people at work feel the need to have LOUD ASS personal conversations in the middle of the fucking office? Go out into the hall, the garage, I don't give a fuck, but I certainly don't want to hear you and and your significant other continue your argument from last night. Ain't nobody got time for that.
People who troll Facebook, Pinterest, whatever the fuck social media for attention. Posting vague and pathetic statuses for everyone to quickly comment on. Grow the fuck up. Nobody cares about you and if they did, they wouldn't fucking write about it on social media. Dipshit.
Why the fuck is everything in the world bad for you? You can't eat this or live here or drive that or talk on this cell phone. For fuck's sake, someone just lasso us into the Sun and get it over with... Sheesh. It can't be all that fucking bad. If it was, people would be dropping like flies already.
People who have no grasp of the English language nor the writing skills to prove different. Yes, we all are irritated with your, you're and then and than, but FUCK...there are people who don't even know the difference between specific and pacific. The I before E rule is completely lost on these folks. Where the fuck did they go to school, the BCA's school? WTF? In the laziest society in the world, you can still look like a genius if you use your spell check and SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!
Internet Memes. Honestly, I had to ask someone what the fuck that shit was. It's funny for five minutes and the first 50 that people send you via email. After that, it's just fucking stupid and pathetic. Everyone needs to go back to People of Wal-Mart and Ecards. Enough said.
Hollywood "stars' (I fucking hate that term) that just won't let it go. I don't give a fuck HOW good you thought Fast and Furious 6 was, it's enough now. They are talking about a seventh. This is not James fucking Bond, it's car thieves. How long does it take the fucking world to recognize these fucking people that come into their country to rob them? Seriously? And how do they fucking run out of money so fast? Liam Neeson, Taken 1 was a great movie, Taken 2 was the shit I step in when I am hiking up a mountain after horses have been there, the fact that you are remotely contemplating a Taken 3, well, a punch in the throat is warranted here. And how many times can fucking Iron Man or The Avengers save the planet? I have been walking around here a fair amount of time and have never thought, Fuck, I wish we had a group of heroes to save us from....ourselves? WTF?
How the fuck are you Starbucks and you run out of breakfast sandwiches at 9 in the morning? Yes, this is personal to me but still...you are the fucking LARGEST coffee retailer on the fucking planet. Maybe ordering a couple hundred sandwiches might be in order you morons.
And when the fuck did TV programs become so fucking lazy? When I was little, programs were on until Summer break, everyone got their vacations and then back to it by the time school started. WTF is up with these shows and their season finales say "We will back in 2014". WTF is that? 2014? What if the world ends (you know the Avengers aren't real)? What if I fucking FORGET every damn thing that happened on your fucking show because it's been an eternity since the last episode? And no I don't want to fucking watch 20 episodes over the weekend to "catch up". Fuck you TV! You should be on my schedule not yours.
Feeling much better now that I've gotten that out there in cyberspace. Feel free to keep YOUR favorite things to yourself! Until next time.....
Why the fuck do people at work feel the need to have LOUD ASS personal conversations in the middle of the fucking office? Go out into the hall, the garage, I don't give a fuck, but I certainly don't want to hear you and and your significant other continue your argument from last night. Ain't nobody got time for that.
People who troll Facebook, Pinterest, whatever the fuck social media for attention. Posting vague and pathetic statuses for everyone to quickly comment on. Grow the fuck up. Nobody cares about you and if they did, they wouldn't fucking write about it on social media. Dipshit.
Why the fuck is everything in the world bad for you? You can't eat this or live here or drive that or talk on this cell phone. For fuck's sake, someone just lasso us into the Sun and get it over with... Sheesh. It can't be all that fucking bad. If it was, people would be dropping like flies already.
People who have no grasp of the English language nor the writing skills to prove different. Yes, we all are irritated with your, you're and then and than, but FUCK...there are people who don't even know the difference between specific and pacific. The I before E rule is completely lost on these folks. Where the fuck did they go to school, the BCA's school? WTF? In the laziest society in the world, you can still look like a genius if you use your spell check and SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!
Internet Memes. Honestly, I had to ask someone what the fuck that shit was. It's funny for five minutes and the first 50 that people send you via email. After that, it's just fucking stupid and pathetic. Everyone needs to go back to People of Wal-Mart and Ecards. Enough said.
Hollywood "stars' (I fucking hate that term) that just won't let it go. I don't give a fuck HOW good you thought Fast and Furious 6 was, it's enough now. They are talking about a seventh. This is not James fucking Bond, it's car thieves. How long does it take the fucking world to recognize these fucking people that come into their country to rob them? Seriously? And how do they fucking run out of money so fast? Liam Neeson, Taken 1 was a great movie, Taken 2 was the shit I step in when I am hiking up a mountain after horses have been there, the fact that you are remotely contemplating a Taken 3, well, a punch in the throat is warranted here. And how many times can fucking Iron Man or The Avengers save the planet? I have been walking around here a fair amount of time and have never thought, Fuck, I wish we had a group of heroes to save us from....ourselves? WTF?
How the fuck are you Starbucks and you run out of breakfast sandwiches at 9 in the morning? Yes, this is personal to me but still...you are the fucking LARGEST coffee retailer on the fucking planet. Maybe ordering a couple hundred sandwiches might be in order you morons.
And when the fuck did TV programs become so fucking lazy? When I was little, programs were on until Summer break, everyone got their vacations and then back to it by the time school started. WTF is up with these shows and their season finales say "We will back in 2014". WTF is that? 2014? What if the world ends (you know the Avengers aren't real)? What if I fucking FORGET every damn thing that happened on your fucking show because it's been an eternity since the last episode? And no I don't want to fucking watch 20 episodes over the weekend to "catch up". Fuck you TV! You should be on my schedule not yours.
Feeling much better now that I've gotten that out there in cyberspace. Feel free to keep YOUR favorite things to yourself! Until next time.....
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