I can't say this enough, Reality TV. The creators should go first, but then all of us go behind them. And YES, Housewives of whatever fucking city you are watching is reality TV.
Creators of and contributors to Social Media. The very idea that you can besmirch someone with a few keystrokes is progressive and diabolical all at once. We as humans are not ready for this type of responsibility and the never a care attitude we have about it proves as much. If you need any more proof, there was a Facebook page for someone trying to "sell" their child. I am not joking.
People using religion as an excuse for everything from guns, marriage, sexual orientation to blowing a bunch of innocent people up. I can guarantee you that there is no deity (if deities existed) that would condone people arming themselves just because, using marriage as an excuse to discriminate (A RELIGIOUS institution-don't get me started), and murdering non-believers as part of it's basic principles. In the name of (insert appropriate deity here) you are banished to hell.
People taking 9 hours to order your ice cream, frozen yogurt, whatever the fuck when there is a line of people out the door. You've had 22 hours to make a decision. The fucking ice cream looks the same up close as it did from 2 feet away. Stop being an attention whore, make your selection and keep it moving. Sheesh!
People pushing the elevator button when it's already lit. WTF? It's lit, pushing it more than once doesn't make it come any faster asshole. Have some fucking patience and common sense. Oh, and wait until ALL the people get out of the elevator before your impatient ass jumps in. Hell: level 2
People that feel compelled to tell you EXACTLY how they are doing when you ask this benign, rhetorical question. FUUUCCKKK. I don't care that your dog died, your kid graduated from Kindergarten or that you have a nagging case of Irritable Bowel Syndrome. The word "Fine" was invented for a reason.
Asshole drivers. This includes, not using your turn signal, cutting people off, driving too fast, driving too slow, driving in the emergency lane during a traffic jam, and basically whatever you do to piss me off while we are "sharing" the road.
Clowns. Enough said. Eww..just got a shiver.
The ex (either girlfriend or boyfriend) of your current partner that is just so friendly. Like they broke up in high school but have stayed "friends". (That's just code for ongoing booty call when they were single or bored). And they just want to be your "friend". WTF? I need more friends like I need a hole in the head. Nobody wants to hear what their fucking current partner did when they were with someone else. Nobody likes to reminisce. Shut the fuck up and get a life.
Oprah. I mean if ANYone on the planet deserves to go to hell more than Oprah, I can't imagine who it would be. We are going to find out during the apocalypse that she has been an agent for Satan the whole time. You wait....
People who suggest, organize and/or participate in work pot lucks. This is a special kind of nastiness that I can't EVEN begin to describe. If you want to feed your family leftovers then have at it.
Movie stars who ACTUALLY believe their opinion is worth more than a piece of shit. Seriously. It's acting. It's not brain surgery. You are not actually DOING anything. Most people learn to do it by age 2 and it's known in its more refined art form as LYING! Becoming an actor doesn't automatically make you a political expert, a philanthropist, a smart person or even mean that people LIKE you. It means that people are lemmings and are bored with their own lives and you happen to most likely be moderately attractive so they fantasize about having your life.
People who schedule "play dates" for their kids. What the fuck is this shit? Scheduling a play date. Your fucking kid isn't an executive. It's a kid. Take them to the park, let them play with other kids and voila, play date, crisis avoided. Sheesh....fucking ridiculous.
People who use their fingers for air quotes. I just seriously want to punch them in the face.
People who conveniently forget that they were shitty in their past and want you to act like it never happened so they can live a happy life. Look, I'm all about forgive but NEVER forget. WTF? You were a raging whore and now we are all supposed to forget that you gave the entire Senior class an STD because you are at the reunion with your husband? FUCK that. (Famous people with this complex: Madonna, Cher and Tom Cruise)
I mean sure, I could have listed the usual suspects, murderers, your step parent, that creepy uncle nobody talks about or lets you be alone with, etc. but what fun would that be?
People pushing the elevator button when it's already lit. WTF? It's lit, pushing it more than once doesn't make it come any faster asshole. Have some fucking patience and common sense. Oh, and wait until ALL the people get out of the elevator before your impatient ass jumps in. Hell: level 2
People that feel compelled to tell you EXACTLY how they are doing when you ask this benign, rhetorical question. FUUUCCKKK. I don't care that your dog died, your kid graduated from Kindergarten or that you have a nagging case of Irritable Bowel Syndrome. The word "Fine" was invented for a reason.
Asshole drivers. This includes, not using your turn signal, cutting people off, driving too fast, driving too slow, driving in the emergency lane during a traffic jam, and basically whatever you do to piss me off while we are "sharing" the road.
Clowns. Enough said. Eww..just got a shiver.
The ex (either girlfriend or boyfriend) of your current partner that is just so friendly. Like they broke up in high school but have stayed "friends". (That's just code for ongoing booty call when they were single or bored). And they just want to be your "friend". WTF? I need more friends like I need a hole in the head. Nobody wants to hear what their fucking current partner did when they were with someone else. Nobody likes to reminisce. Shut the fuck up and get a life.
Oprah. I mean if ANYone on the planet deserves to go to hell more than Oprah, I can't imagine who it would be. We are going to find out during the apocalypse that she has been an agent for Satan the whole time. You wait....
People who suggest, organize and/or participate in work pot lucks. This is a special kind of nastiness that I can't EVEN begin to describe. If you want to feed your family leftovers then have at it.
Movie stars who ACTUALLY believe their opinion is worth more than a piece of shit. Seriously. It's acting. It's not brain surgery. You are not actually DOING anything. Most people learn to do it by age 2 and it's known in its more refined art form as LYING! Becoming an actor doesn't automatically make you a political expert, a philanthropist, a smart person or even mean that people LIKE you. It means that people are lemmings and are bored with their own lives and you happen to most likely be moderately attractive so they fantasize about having your life.
People who schedule "play dates" for their kids. What the fuck is this shit? Scheduling a play date. Your fucking kid isn't an executive. It's a kid. Take them to the park, let them play with other kids and voila, play date, crisis avoided. Sheesh....fucking ridiculous.
People who use their fingers for air quotes. I just seriously want to punch them in the face.
People who conveniently forget that they were shitty in their past and want you to act like it never happened so they can live a happy life. Look, I'm all about forgive but NEVER forget. WTF? You were a raging whore and now we are all supposed to forget that you gave the entire Senior class an STD because you are at the reunion with your husband? FUCK that. (Famous people with this complex: Madonna, Cher and Tom Cruise)
I mean sure, I could have listed the usual suspects, murderers, your step parent, that creepy uncle nobody talks about or lets you be alone with, etc. but what fun would that be?
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