Now, before you go getting all offended assuming I'm talking about you (which I probably am) just fucking listen up. If your child can walk more than 10 feet, they are too big for a stroller. Disabilities and impediments aside, if your child can walk more than 10 feet, they are too big for a stroller. I know what you're going to say, I do. No, they NEED a stroller, they NEED to rest and sit down and be controlled. and this is what I am going to say... we are raising the next generation of lazy ass kids. The kids do not NEED a stroller, YOU need the stroller. You need the stroller because you're half assing that parenting shit. Yeah, I said it. Look, I have had three small kids, and they are all 2 years or less apart. I know the feeling of NEEDING a stroller, but you know what, I didn't use one if they could walk 10 feet or more, that's the rule. Not at Disneyland, not at the mall, not ANYWHERE. You know why? Because I didn't want to raise lazy ass kids. I mean they are still lazy (that's a totally different blog) but for completely different reasons. If someone told you when you found out you were having a child that parenting was easy, they FUCKING LIED TO YOU. Parenting is not easy, never has been, never will be. I know, I already know you are going to say, but what about this situation or what about that situation, and the answer is "Can your child walk 10 feet or more by themselves?" No fucking stroller needed.
For those of you that know this blog well, you know that the stroller is just a symptom to prove the real point. We are raising lazy ass kids. We have set the bar so low for these kids, they are practically doing the limbo instead of high jumping over it. I am not judging, nor am I saying that my way is the right way (although it is). I am merely pointing out that raising this generation to be co-dependent (on parents, on electronics, on society) is going to be their downfall, and in turn ours. Is it easier to hand them a phone or tablet during dinner or the car ride to keep them quiet? Fuck yeah it is, but what about good old fashioned conversation? Putting aside the social aspects of this issue, think about the health of our future generation. Fine motor coordination, muscle growth and development, etc. Did you know the the average height of the American child is actually DECLINING compared to the rest of the world. Pretty soon, no more gold medals in basketball because our kids are going to be the size of fucking Frodo. We are raising short, fat, lazy kids and it must end. I feel like that guy going around cutting selfie sticks, only I want to remove the tires off of strollers with kids that have no business being in a stroller. I know, my extremist views and harsh methods offend you. It's okay. It is, I am willing to take the brunt of your anger. Be angry all you want at me, but for fuck's sake, take your kid out of that damn stroller!
