Well, we're here, again. Every fucking year it comes back. Can't get out of it. Christmas is around the corner. Last year I told you all not to buy your kids expensive shit they don't need and to cop to the truth about Santa. I bet you didn't. Chicken shits! This Christmas I am not going to try and convince you what the right thing to do is, because you will just do whatever the fuck you want anyways. Fuckers. What I will do is tell you what I want for Christmas this year. Yeah, that's right, I got shit that I want and plenty of it. And it may not all be delivered by a fat white dude who plays with elves (let that picture get burned into your mind... not so jolly, huh?). So without further delay, as I can see your breathless anticipation is building......
I want world peace. I know that sounds corny and cliche, but trust me, this shit worries me. Any crazy fucker with a couple of ounces of uranium and a vendetta can seriously fuck shit up. Especially around this all important time of year people get crazy. Well, crazy people get crazier. In the immortal words of Rodney King..."Can't we all just get along?"
I want people to stop acting like assholes. I know this is a really really big wish, but in light of recent events, I can't help thinking we are on the path to doomdom. Yes, doomdom live with it. But seriously, police fucking with people (and by fucking with I mean killing) and people fucking with police (but not killing them) it worries me what the future holds for the next generation. No matter what your beliefs are with respect to the law, gun control etc. I truly believe that it can be resolved if people stopped acting like asshole for 5 fucking minutes and started acting like humans again, seriously.
I want people to stop acting like assholes. I know this is a really really big wish, but in light of recent events, I can't help thinking we are on the path to doomdom. Yes, doomdom live with it. But seriously, police fucking with people (and by fucking with I mean killing) and people fucking with police (but not killing them) it worries me what the future holds for the next generation. No matter what your beliefs are with respect to the law, gun control etc. I truly believe that it can be resolved if people stopped acting like asshole for 5 fucking minutes and started acting like humans again, seriously.
I want the entertainment world to drastically change. I want actors, singers, producers and everyone else associated with the "entertainment" industry to not make millions of dollars for doing nothing. Stop and think about this for a minute. You are willing to succumb to the EVER CLIMBING prices of going to a movie, but if your kids teacher sent around a petition asking for money for school supplies, your dumb ass would be up in arms complaining about the fact that public education is supposed to be free. It's not fucktard, you are supposed to HELP. You are willing to contribute to the lavish and ridiculous lifestyles of people whose only talent is being really good storytellers, manipulators and liars. That is what it boils down to. You idolize people who live a fantasy life everyday and are in no way in touch with reality. Are they curing any diseases? Are they making anyone's life better? (And no fucking entertaining someone doesn't make their life better. It allows them to escape their shitty life for a few hours) 90% of these people don't have any formal education or marketable skills and are a waste of space. Yet, millions of people flock every weekend to throw their money at them. Wake the fuck up and realize that celebrities don't love you back.
I want someone to find a cure for stupid. Seriously. I mean that pretty much says it all, but if you need further explanation, maybe you can volunteer to be one of the first test subjects.... ;)
I want professional athletes to make the same amount of money that teachers do. Whether that means that athletes take a HUGE pay cut or that teachers get a HUGE raise, I'm fine with it. I think teachers should have to compete for their jobs just like athletes and be subject to public scrutiny just like athletes. I think that athletes should have to re-certify their abilities to remain professional athletes every year which includes "off the field" behavior and ethics, just like teachers. Can you fucking imagine how many assholes would lose their jobs on both sides? LOL. Classic.
I want people to mind their own fucking business. It's none of your fucking business what other people think about you. It's none of your fucking business who fucks who and how they do it. It's none of your fucking business how anyone lives their life unless they are directly, physically hurting yours. It's none of your fucking business if people want to marry each other or they don't. It's none of your fucking business if I want to worship the devil or whatever the fuck false idol I want to, it's none of your fucking business. You know what is your business? YOUR OWN FUCKING LIFE!! Take care of your shit and I will take care of mine. Go the fuck to work, to church,
to school or wherever it is you want to go. I won't bother if you don't bother me.
Ooh...you know what else would be really beneficial to all of mankind? If our government just finally came out and admitted that they were all of bunch of money grubbing, lying douchebags who are only in politics for the money and power. If they finally admitted that they don't give a flying fuck about the general public and that there really is no bi-partisan system, it's just one big party of ASSHOLES. If they finally admitted that big business runs this country not the person sitting in the white house or the fucktards who pretend to be in Congress or the Senate. That would at least let people know where they stand and maybe, just maybe, people would stop voting like it's a fucking high school popularity contest and voting in people who actually knew what the fuck they were doing.
So, if right about now you're feeling like "gee, I don't think I can get here any of those things on her list"...don't worry! I will post my "I'm a materialistic d'bag like the rest of us" Christmas list on my FB page!!! Just kidding...maybe.
Have a very Merry Fucking Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanza, Happy Ramadan and Happy Holidays!!!
to school or wherever it is you want to go. I won't bother if you don't bother me.
Ooh...you know what else would be really beneficial to all of mankind? If our government just finally came out and admitted that they were all of bunch of money grubbing, lying douchebags who are only in politics for the money and power. If they finally admitted that they don't give a flying fuck about the general public and that there really is no bi-partisan system, it's just one big party of ASSHOLES. If they finally admitted that big business runs this country not the person sitting in the white house or the fucktards who pretend to be in Congress or the Senate. That would at least let people know where they stand and maybe, just maybe, people would stop voting like it's a fucking high school popularity contest and voting in people who actually knew what the fuck they were doing.
So, if right about now you're feeling like "gee, I don't think I can get here any of those things on her list"...don't worry! I will post my "I'm a materialistic d'bag like the rest of us" Christmas list on my FB page!!! Just kidding...maybe.
Have a very Merry Fucking Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanza, Happy Ramadan and Happy Holidays!!!
