Things I've learned.....

In my very short time on this planet (wink, wink), I've attained my fair share of knowledge. Not necessarily Neil Degrasse Tyson knowledge, but you know the shit that gets you through the day, with a smile. Some of it skewed to my POV, some it wise and some of it just plain fucking true. So you all know how much I love bullet points and lists, so here's what I've learned.

I've learned that no matter how many fucking times you lecture your kids, they are going to do whatever the fuck they want. You know why? Because they're related to YOU! 

I'ver learned that what people think about you is none of your fucking business. Seriously, there is more important shit in the world, keep it moving. 

I've learned that most people only remember the bad and have a difficult time recalling or even creating the good. 

I've learned that you cannot do the same shit at 20, that you can at 30 or that you can at 40. Notice how that progressed into a positive with no regrets there..take a lesson

I've learned that no matter what your faith, it blinds you to the truth. 

I've learned that there are always going to be skinny bitches and you are probably not one of them.  

I've learned that you should ALWAYS buy the shoes, ride the ride, say what's on your mind and never sweat the small stuff. Life is too short. 

I've learned that little kids are actually pretty fucking smart and make more sense that most adults I know. 

I've learned that discrimination runs about as rampant as any terminal disease and lasts about as long.

Ive learned that freedom isn't free. Thank you to all my military people. :)

 I've learned that ugliness has nothing to do with your physical appearance. Beauty fades and ugliness on the inside lasts a lifetime.

I've learned that everyone is born free, good and loving. It's walking around this planet that fucks your shit up. 

I've learned that I should have paid more attention to the stories my grandparents told. That was some valuable free advice and a roadmap from where I came. 

I've learned that just because you are a woman with a child does not make you a mother and just because you gave birth doesn't make you a mom.

I've learned that I have less patience for bullshit as I get older. LOL..imagine me with even less patience. 

I've learned that the people I thought would be in my life forever, didn't even make it to the halfway point.... their loss. 

I've learned (the absolute hard way) that just because you have a mouth, doesn't mean you always should feel the need to use it. 

I've learned that no matter how much you may be irritated by your family, you will miss them when they are gone. Family is the truest form of forced socialization, gotta love it. 

I've learned that whether or not you believe it, Karma believes in you. And the rumors are true! 

I've learned that no matter how hard you try, your shit is never going to look as good as it does on Pinterest. True story. 

I've learned that the "perfect" size is whatever mother fucking size I am wearing that day! 

I've learned that when there isn't any love left, most of the time, there wasn't ever any love.

I've learned that I may not be perfect, but I'm pretty fucking close.  ;) 

And last but not least, but absolute all time favorite thing in the world.....
I've learned that people may not remember what you said, or what you did but they will ALWAYS remember how you made them feel. 

You can't cure stupid... A true story.

There are treatments for a LOT of diseases out there, there are less cures (because the money is not in the cure.. don't get me started), but there are medications($$) you can take, things you can do to alleviate pain and discomfort from some of the most common diseases, but Stupid, not so much. Stupid may or may not be genetically passed along. I mean I have known entire families to be pretty fucking stupid, but not always. Stupid can be caused by a traumatic blow to the brain, however generally Stupid is just a way of life for the more than 75% of the world that suffer with it. Stupid doesn't discriminate either, black, white, hispanic, male, female, young, old it is an equal opportunity affliction. Generally the afflicted don't have a clue they are afflicted, which makes it a difficult affliction to deal with, but by definition alone, I guess it's not surprising that they are unaware. Here is the dictionary definition of Stupid: lacking intelligence or common sense. 

Hmmm.. where to go from there. Stupidity is one of my pet peeves. For those that know me well, they know that stupidity is one of the top three things that will definitely get you punched in the face. Some of you are wondering, what about the people that can't help being stupid. Let me define Stupid for you, MY way. Stupid people are people who just don't give a fuck about what comes out of their mouths, what actions they take and have an overall absence of intelligence in making life choices. 

By most accounts, 90% of people who actually have the balls to call themselves a "celebrity" are stupid. Sure they make money (but that's YOUR fault) but money is not a cure for stupidity. If you apply my definition of stupid to celebrities, you see that they ALL generally meet the requirements. Saying shit without regard for whether it's actually true or makes any fucking sense all the damn time, doing shit that is just senseless all the time and making choices that are just fucked up without any thought process at all (just think Miley Cyrus licking shit all the fucking time). 

Generally children suffer from this affliction, but admittedly their stupidity can be cute at times and they eventually grow out of it. But just think of some of the shit that has come out of kids mouths. But at least they have the excuse of no life experience. I mean eventually these little bastards gain some life experience and common sense and can overcome. But not all the time. Sometimes they can't overcome the affliction and they become, you guessed it, stupid fucking adults. 

Adults that suffer from stupidity are easily identifiable. They generally make no fucking sense when speaking about any topic and have to raise their voice to cover up their stupidity. They suffer from the overwhelming side effects of stupidity which can include, but are not limited to, random bouts of silence when asked any kind of question, speaking incoherently, citing other stupid people as a form of logic, answering a question WITH ANOTHER FUCKING QUESTION, and just basically talking out of their asses. Stupid people also tend toward the dramatic, again to draw attention away from their affliction. They have extreme opinions on topics such as religion, politics and the weather. However these opinions are based on zero facts and if they do happen to cite a fact, again it's generally from another stupid person. The worst part about stupid people however, has to be their decision making abilities, or rather lack thereof. It's scares the shit out of me to think that these people vote, procreate, and drive. Stupid people driving is of epidemic proportions out here in LA (that's Los Angeles, not Louisiana...that kind of stupidity is another blog altogether). Blinkers, brake pedals and common sense are all in the shitter when stupid people drive. 

The sad truth is that many of these people will drift through life annoying the fuck out of the rest of us. So, the best thing we can do is keep sending research monies to find some way to cure this disease, just like we do for all of the other diseases they eventually found cures for......um...polio (thank you Dr. Salk, who asked for like $1.50 and got the job done). Until then, just suffer through and keep your punching in the face skills sharp. And remember what the immortal George Carlin said: "Think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are stupider than that"