Moment number one: WTF Lance Armstrong?
I mean really. WTF were you thinking? You lied, manipulated, bullied, threatened your way to national admiration and to a FORTUNE. You vehemently denied the rumors and when it was brought up acted like a 12 year old and stomped your feet (which should have been our first clue...). I mean, this WTF moment could go on all day, but the bottom line is that once again, Americans are always so desperate to put someone on a pedestal and yet even more thrilled to knock them the fuck off and watch them tumble down. I am not saying that Lance has anyone to blame for this but himself, but why are we still giving two shits about this asshole when there are more pressing matters in the world? Fuck you Lance Armstrong and your lying, cheating ass. I hope your other testicle falls off, but not from cancer, from someone who you screwed over kicking you so hard in the groin. P.S.- Cheryl Crowe doesn't seem like such a bitch now for breaking up with him, huh? You judgmental assholes! ;0)
Moment number two: WTF Manti Te'o (whatever the fuck your name really is) Lyin Hawaiian
This is the most ridiculous story I have ever had the displeasure of hearing about, over and over and over again. I really fucking thought my kids were talking about some kid at their high school, because that's exactly where this story should ONLY be discussed. WHO THE FUCK CARES? As a tax paying adult I could give a fuck less if some kid from Hawaii going to a Catholic school in Indiana dedicated to the Mormon religion out of Utah lies about his girlfriend or not. Did he date rape anyone? Did he kill anyone? Is he having steroid induced rage killing thoughts? No, then shut the fuck up and move the fuck on. Again, Americans tsk tsk tsk.... you are giving people like Bill Simmons a reason to exist and annoy the fuck out of anyone that isn't from Boston.
Moment number three: WTF (or more to the point is WHO the Fuck) is Chief Keef?
This idiotic wanna be gangster kid from Chicago is started to annoy the fuck out of me and I don't even know who he is. Apparently he's 17 and keeps getting arrested and then crying like the little bitch that he is. (And that is not a reference to a weak female or a female dog). Stop paying attention to this fucking adolescent shithead and start paying attention to important things.
Moment number four: WTF Kim Kardashian? And WTF her Mom. (I don't even know the psycho's name)
I really hate even wasting my carpal tunnel typing moments on this self degrading, moronic, gold digging, attention whoring, actual whore, but really? Her Mom is mad at Kanye because he announced that she's pregnant when the Mom wanted to sell the story to the tabloids. Let's take a step back here... her MOM, wanted to sell the story of her married to another man, about to have a child with another man (who isn't the first other man) self promoting daughter? WTF is wrong with this bitch? You know, I can always tell the good Moms from the bad ones. Not that in this case it was hard to spot, but if someone says something negative about your child and you offer to sell it to a tabloid, pretty sure you're a piece of shit Mom and even worse human being. The fact that this chick and her family have become famous for ABSOLUTELY nothing incenses me to no end. They all deserve to have been taken off the planet on 12/21/12, seriously. And for the sake of all mankind, someone put in implant into ALL of these whores to stop them from procreating. Because trust me, one day the money is going to run out and WE (the American public who adore them so much... NOT) are going to be picking up the tab for them and their kids. Until of course they release the sex tape of them post giving birth....UGH! And a big FUCK YOU to Ryan Cheesecrest (Seacrest) for creating this fucking piece of shit show in the first place.
Moment number five: WTF backwards ass inbred hillbilly redneck mother fuckers of WBC. (In case you didn't know, WBC stands for Westboro Baptist Church)
Another fucking idiotic bunch of fucktards that I hate to waste time on, but for your sake, you need to know these fuckers are out there. The website for this "church" (I say that VERY loosely) is www.godhatesfags.com. This says it all. This group of stellar "Christians" were going to picket the funerals of the children killed at Sandy Hook Elementary because they say that "God" sent the shooter to punish the parents of these kids because they are obvious sinners. Are you fucking shitting me right now? Why is it that when you do fucked up shit to other people, you are alwasy citing "God" as your source of inspiration? Be a real fucking adult and if you believe in something don't hide behind "God", put your balls out there and take your lumps like everyone else. I am all for the constitution and freedoms, but these people, all you can say is WTF? These people picket military funerals, they are actually picketing in Times Square today because they claim that NYC is the "epicenter of international commerce and they represent fag central". These people are on a whole other level of fucking stupid. A church and group that the State of Kansas can be proud of, I'm sure. By the way, people are circulating a petition to have them officially named a hate group. If you get a chance, sign the petition. https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/legally-recognize-westboro-baptist-church-hate-group/DYf3pH2d
Moment number six: WTF using FB "Likes" to get what you want.
Really? If my kids asked me for a dog and I said "no", then it would cost them a fuck of a lot more than a million FB "likes" to get one. Is this real parenting? What the fuck did you just teach your kids? That they should place every importance on social media and fuck working hard to get what you want? Woo hoo, the little midgets made a fucking sign. BIG FUCKING DEAL. Look, I'm all for kids being activists, but this shit right here, fucking lazy ass parenting and blasphemous to say the least. And even MORE ridiculous, is that apparently the executives at GMA (good morning america) have run out of fucking NEWS ideas and put these fucking lazy kids on TV. Are you serious? What the fuck has the world come to? Should I fucking write a sign that says if I get a million likes my boss will give me a fucking raise? Fuck actually working hard to earn the raise, just give it to me because I can find one million lazy ass fuckers with nothing else to do but CLICK A FUCKING BUTTON to help me get a raise. Glad that these people are actually getting a rescue pet but come on, really, this was a colossal parenting fuck up. This didn't teach them responsibility at all. Wake the fuck up and take responsibility for your kids and their upbringing. I swear to you I just saw some fucking kid from Norway made a sign that some (obviously well parented) girl in his class will have sex with him if he gets a million likes. You see? A fucking epidemic of laziness already spreading the globe.... FUCKERS.
I am certain that we will be back, revisiting additional WTF moments of 2013 shortly, but for now, I have to send an email to all my friends who like the Lakers and ask them where their car flags are this year? WTF?
