If I ruled the world.....

With all of these lunatics running around shouting about the end of the world (only 4 months 13 days until D-Day) it got me wondering how different the world would be if we had one person to run it. One very charismatic, intelligent, super hot, wise person.....ME! I know you're thinking that the world would then be subject to my mood swings, my harsh criticism and unwillingness to put up with any bullshit. But that's what makes it SOOO fun! So, if I ruled the world, here's how things would go....(and don't go expecting any Martin Luther King, Jr, JFK, Ghandi save the world kind of ideals either)

If I ruled the world, you would have to pass a test before you could have a child. I just don't mean women, I mean EVERYONE. Implanted at birth would be a device that prohibits pro-creation. Until you can pass a three part test that includes written, verbal and psychological, no kids for you. Harsh you say? Look around at the people that you know that have kids. I rest my case. 

If I ruled the world, professional athletes would make the same salary as teachers. Now that could go two ways. Either we would pay teachers the pay they finally deserve or we would pay athletes the pay they finally deserve. Either way, win-win. 

If I ruled the world, we would have toilet seats that automatically returned to their correct position (it's DOWN by the way) and were self cleaning. 

If I ruled the world, reality TV would be banned. Enough said.

If I ruled the world, George Carlin would be a national hero and have his own holiday. If you don't know who George Carlin is, just stop reading my blog now. 

If I ruled the world, the new world anthem would be written by a collaboration of Eminem, Lionel Ritchie, and Billy Corrigan. It would be the best EVER! 

If I ruled the world, the Olympics would be an intelligence event, not an athletic one. Let's see who dominates now??!! 
If I ruled the world, after you pushed the elevator button once a little electric shock would be given if you pushed it again after it was lit. 
If I ruled the world, there would be a channel that ran nothing but the Godfather Trilogy all day everyday. (In HD of course)
If I ruled the world, we would have flying cars by now. Priorities, priorities.....
If I ruled the world, everyone would get a "do over" like when you were little. If you die, you get ONE do over. 
If I ruled the world, Dan Marino would get one more shot to win the Super Bowl so that the argument of who the best QB ever is can be put to rest because he will have a ring. Yeah, I said it.
If I ruled the world, anyone could marry anyone they wanted, and be just as miserable as everyone else in the world. 
Alright, these are just a few of my agenda items for when I rule the world. I mean, it's not like I can't think of more, but there are only so many hours in a day. Just remember that when I take over the world, you heard it hear first....so you're not surprised!!